Dead! Comman-D'oh!

He's not pleased

Hampton Roads. It's some sort of naval base. I think. It's also the scene of my ultimate demise. The NOD juggernaut stopped in this place on this day. So I guess in a way that's good, right? NOD are the bad guys so we should be pleased. Hooray! Anyway, read on for the sorry tale of my final mission.

Dead! G! (I) DIed

Worst headline ever. I need to save my good ones though I've got another 3 C&C games to get through.

Alas, it was bound to happen at some point. I couldn't keep making major mistakes in a hard campaign and getting away with it. It's really turning game-playing into a sport where I have to FOCUS all the time and make sure I get RESULTS. Read on to witness the shambolic end...

Dead Alert! Red Alert 3

Bring it on

I had high hopes for this run through. It had it all - a genre I considered myself good at, a game I hadn't played so it would be a new experience, it was modern so I could take plenty of nice looking screenshots.
Yep it was all adding up to be a doozy.
Guess what happened?

Dead! Command and Conquer: Red Alert 3: Reds Under the Ground

Well, obviously

We're deep into the C's now and with 'C' comes C&C,  one of my favourite franchises. I think I have all of them except the terrible FPS and the latest one which seemed a bit weird (walking bases that respawn sounded interesting, but I think I had other games to focus on). With three campaigns which can be played co-op or single player, this game is going to get a LOT of time between the three of us, so here's my first run at the solo Soviet campaign.

Dead! - Bastion

Well, well, well. It had to happen eh.

After giving it all that in the previous video, I only bloody went and got myself killed didn't I.

Lets see how.

DEAD! Neil returns from *REDACTED* only to die at sea

Neil here.

Where have I been? Well, I can't really say. Remember that huge nuclear attack that wiped out most of Europe last week? No? That's because I'm good at my job baby. Moving on...

Now where were we? Ah yes, Aquaria. Last time I scribbled about this I got nicely tucked into the opening hour of a seemingly inoffensive little indie number about swimming around a little underwater maze. Around and around and around I'd go, making little splashes and singing to aquatic fauna. Yey.

Dead! - COD4 "Soap" MacRubbish

I think you can all pretty much guess how this went. I completed the tutorial and it told me I should play on Recruit. I chose 'Veteran' (You Will Not Survive).
"Are you sure?" it asked, "That difficulty is not recommended".

Well we'll just see about that...



And that's that. the one bit where I actually have to shoot some people and I'm killed instantly.
:(

Call to Power 2 next! Bring it ON!

Dead! (Inside) - Black and White

Well, I don't know what to say really. I haven't died in the game, but I have died inside, and my enthusiasm for playing and writing about it is also close to death which is why, for the sake of the project, I've decided to just stop playing it.

Dead! Bioshocked.

I knew my death was only moments away so I thought I'd video the moment for all to see. In the end though it didn't quite turn out that way...

Dead! - Aquaria

"My story will become your own, and yours will become mine."

There was a time when I was just a fish woman in a crystal. I broke free. I sung songs to the fauna of Home Springs. I collected many recipes. I acquired knowledge of my past, not through ancestry.co.uk, but by slaying underwater manifestations of gods. I got laid in a clam.

I did this and much, much more.

Ahh crap. I'm dead.

Dead: Amnesia or How I Need to Learn to Stop Enjoying Games

Amnesia - The Annoying Design

So it seems like starting to enjoy a game is a herald of my upcoming death. What did I say just before my death in Conan?

"Just as I'm starting to remember what I like about Conan, and thinking that it might be fun to get stuck into it again for a while, it's all over"

I'm not going to lie I'm pretty annoyed at Amnesia right now. Just as I start to fall for it, and think that maybe there's a game underneath all the suspense, it reveals itself to be a big old liar.

It went as follows:

Dead: Aliens vs. Predator vs. Aliens vs. Predator 2

Sorry I'm still FRAPless

With AvP's marine campaign sadly cut short due to a somewhat rude evisceration (and I mean impolite rather than poorly made, my viscera was externalised exquisitely) it's time to look to the monsters.

Dead! - Age of Conan

Well.

Well, well, well.

Just as I'm starting to remember what I like about Conan, and thinking that it might be fun to get stuck into it again for a while, it's all over. I'm pretty embarrassed. It wasn't a boss or anything, just some guards that I stumbled across. I'm sadder than I expected to be too.

Skyfall'd - This Is The Way The World Will End

Alarm! Alarm! Alarm!

Red bulbs all around me and flashing at full pelt, there's a dead guy on the floor, and I'm trapped in here with him, in what looks like some kind of fancy hospital. Things are looking dire, and I'm not even at the 60 second mark in my Alpha Protocol caper. Will Neil escape and set the world to rights? Or is there likely someone else who could have done it better?