Friday, 8 February 2013

Aquaria - Sun, Sea, Sex

When starting this blog with Thom and Neil, I had assumed we would speed through our collection in record time. I mean, we're not the young gamers we used to be. Gone are the nights when you'd take it in turns to complete an endurance race in Gran Turismo, the 4am playthroughs of a newly released game, the endless 4-player goldeneye/mario kart sessions.

In fact, our average time per game played so far, on this blog, must be around the 15 minute mark. So we should be getting through the list quite quickly, right? over 5hrs (and counting) Aquaria is surely going to screw that statistic.
You join me after my crash. I had the suspicion that the next screen would contain a boss. My gamer sense was tingling...(ugh...)
Right then...
and what do you's another fishy boss thing.

Hello fishy boss thing!
Past experience teaches me that there will be a sort of trick to defeating this guy, as there was in the previous encounter. There are two gas vents and a floating fat fish thing; so something involving him I assume. In fact, before I actually start fighting the big fishy thing - I think I already know what I have to do.

I can use my bind on this mini fish thing and drag him around. I reckon I have to drag him to the mouth of the boss and let him go. Boss eats poison fish. Boss gets hurt. Do this three times. Boss dies.

Correct! The boss recoils, flashing red to indicate that he took damage. However, after this attack, I don't see any other gas fish. Ah. It turns out this boss spawns thin fish....which become gas fish if they swim near the gas vents. I repeat the initial attack. And again. Then the bosses eye blows up....for some reason.

"Noo! My contact lens!"
He must be in a lot of pain, as he turns crimson and unleashes torrent of fiery death my way. Luckily my shield reflects them back at him. However now, there doesn't seem to be any other fish I can feed him. Hmm. I swim around a bit trying to figure out what to do next. I switch to the fire form and spam the right mouse button. This seems to be all I can do, so I consume a spicy fajita (which gives me extra firepower...makes sense) and continue to pelt him with my Mexican infused fire missiles.

He goes per usual, my character clutches her face and I'm treated to a bit of back story, mainly consisting of a fairly ripped fish dude just staring at people in the street...

"How you doing?" the bedroom?

"Do you mind Geoff?"
After this, I unlock a "strong animal legs" ability which allows me to swim against the tide. It also lets me eat other fish and use their missile attacks. After a few snacks, I get an achievement. YES MATE.

I also discover an emoticon rock, which I can place in my flat at a later date.

I continue swimming north, and eventually reach the surface!

I'm treated to a slow motion leap through the air. THIS IS AWESOME. I reckon I must have spent the next 20mins or so, just jumping in out of the water. It seems to strange to feel the effects of gravity after spending the whole game underwater. I genuinely identify with the character as she expresses her sense of sheer wonderment at seeing this exciting new world.

I swim around a bit more and discover the "Turtle Cave" which is full of turtles...including one moody turtle who is wearing another turtle as a turtle hat. Turtle.

Hipster Turtle.
I leave, as there doesn't seem to be anything to do here, I swim all the way to the right and see a diver!

Oi oi!
I follow the diver to a cave and I trap him/her in the corner. My character wonders what will happen if I remove the shell from the divers head. I, of course, know what will happen.... need air to survive do you?
After watching him drown, I move in for a kiss. Obviously.

"Power of Love" - Huey Lewis and the News
I've passed out. After coming to, I see the diver (who is called 'Li') and get all embarrassed.

"Urgh, I was so wasted last night. You should probably go."
Turns out I've given him the ability to breathe under water. In return, he brings me some fish to eat and we hang out for a bit. Then I get another achievement! ROMANCE. Li follows me around everywhere now, firing bolts from his wrist at all who stand in our way. Including the harmless little fishes... :/

I swim about for a bit, with Li, and we find a clam we can interact with. Which leads to forward behaviour if you ask me...

I guess they can't close the lid, coz it will get too clammy...Ha! Clam-my. Geddit?! Ha!
I find turtle taxi that will take me back home. Li comes along for the ride as we head back to mine.

"To Shoreditch please." Ha!...shore-ditch. Geddit?! Ha! I'm on fire!
So I'm still not dead. I've redecorated the flat. Made a fish cake out of the fishy boss. I obtained beast like legs. I nabbed an underwater fella. Spent time with said fella in a clam. And now I'm off to explore the Sun Temple. Life is good.


When coming up with the blog with the guys, I honestly thought it would just be us writing about funny/embarrassing deaths...and to a certain extent...that has been the case!.

Aquaria just sat in my steam library, unplayed and gathering virtual dust for many, many months. Had it not been for the blog "forcing" me to play it - I doubt I would have ever installed it. So I'm very glad we set up this blog, not only for the silly deaths...but also because it allowed me to "discover" this little charming indie game. If you've ever bought a games bundle, just for one particular game...I urge you to look at those other titles too. Because, like me, you may have missed out on some truly great games/experiences.

(also, I'm still alive in this game. Does this mean I'm a better gamer than Thom and Neil?)


  1. Keep going chaps! I'm still reading!

    1. Thanks Jason! Hopefully should have some more fishy adventuring done tonight.

      We need a way of keeping you guys informed about what we're doing really...I'll get an update and post it up!