Monday, 1 April 2013

Atom Zombie Smasher

I always talk about how I think I'd be pretty good at surviving the zombie apocalypse, so much so, that I really do want it to happen. Really. I do. I've seen enough zombie films in my time, so I know how they move and what they feast on. How to get rid of them? Well, I've practically grown up playing video games, so obviously I know to aim for the head. My youth was training.

The flat I'm currently renting seems to be perfectly designed against the undead horde, too. Firstly, I'm on the 2nd floor in this house. Second, the narrow entrance to our flat acts as a brilliant choke point. Thirdly, my cupboards are well stocked with baked beans and green herbs. And lastly, I own a shotgun.

Okay, well I might have embellished that a little bit.

I actually live on the first floor.

What I would be very rubbish at though, is evacuating a whole city. I can't stand middle management, you see. Unfortunately for me, this would be the goal of the next game on the list: Atom Zombie Smasher.

It's the 60's. The city of Nuevos Aires is overrun with zeds. El Presidente has called me by name. I tell him that I can only do this if there zombies are random, permadeath mode is enabled and if its hardcore. He says, "put 'No Quarter' on, and its a deal."...or something like that. I don't speak Spanish.

Conditions are perfect.
I'm cool with that. Fractions are for sissies. Lets do this.

January 1961 - First day!
Porto Ryeza - Pop. 125
Alright, alright. Simple one first. Just rescue 10 people. The yellow dots are citizens, who need to cheese it quick smart. I place my helicopter landing pad and click start.

LZ IS HOT! Okay, so the Zombies move quite quickly. Still learning. I rescue 10 people...just. El Presidente presents me with a bronze medal, though he's not that impressed with the 113 new zombies out he provides me with some snipers.

3rd Place! Yeah!
February 1961 - "SOLSTICE"
Keleyao - Pop. 125
Snipers deploy! Wow...they shoot pretty slowly. Which is not great for high pressure zombie extractions.

I rescue 11 people. Not enough to complete the mission. No medal. No new troops.

March 1961 - "BICHO PREGUICA"
Excellent, this is exactly what I need. Slower Zeds, for my slow snipers. Easy town. Where to next?
Deneande - Pop. 125

The likely lads.
LET'S GO! Santiago and Juan, my pilots, are pumped. Even if their faces don't show it.

Zed wins...again.
Hmm....better, but still not that great. Again, no medal. I'm beginning to think my snipers are not really up for this, not as much as Santiago and Juan anyway.

Keleyande - Pop.125

Right, okay. This isn't going great. I meet El Presidente. He doen't look too happy.

April 1961 - Out of Office - Training

May 1961 - "FIRECANE"
Right. So I've read the manuals. Dealt with the tricky problem solving exercises involving boats, animals and farmers. Got the GNVQ. I'm now ready to save some people.

Excellent. It was going a bit too easily, after all.
Right. Faster Zed...that doesn't really help. I'm out of probation now. Time to really shine.

La Dameboso- Pop.125

I thought I ticked Permadeath?
F9 to restart? There's no do overs son...I messed up. I gotta live with it.

Fail. Again
I rescue 19 people, but that's not good enough...apparently. I beg for more units. El Presidente just smiles.

June 1961 - "MIDNIGHT SUN"

Ok cool. Should be fine. Maybe
Ok, less Zed, that should be fine. Less daytime...erm. Not great to be honest. But, we can always attach lights to our guns...or something.

De Ipifro - Pop.125


July 1961 - Counselling

August 1961 - "SOLSTICE"

Clocks go back. Or is it forward?
To be honest, longer hours ain't really gonna help my sloth like snipers that much...

El Dorirava - Pop. 250

Still....better than June eh.


So how is Nuevos Aires doing?
Rescued: 81
New Zombies: 919

Yellow. Good. Purple/Pink. Bad.
Not great then. Still...there are some pockets of the city still remaining...all is not lost!



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